Finding Bella
by rllance
Summary: Bella goes to visit Jacob after the Newborn Battle and makes a decision that will change all their lives. My Entry for the Pick a Pic O/S Contest Now a full story
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello my lovelies this is the anonymous o/s I wrote for the pick a pic contest that I have decide to turn into a full story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved writing it. The characters belong to SM not me. Thanks TayJay and Mist for the quick read and Mist Thank you for the beautiful banner**

"_**I was worried about you."  
"You were worried about me?"  
"Yeah; I guessed Edward would read my thoughts. Was he hard on you?"  
"He's not even mad at me, or you."  
"Well, damn. He's better than I thought"  
"He's not playing any game."  
"Right. Bella, he's not as perfect as you think."  
"I know who he is. Let's not talk about that."  
"I'd rather get all the re-breaking done at once."**_

"_**Well, at least I did everything I could. It wasn't easy making you admit your feelings for me."  
"I only fought them because I knew they wouldn't change anything."  
"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would be as easy as breathing with me."  
"You know I love you."  
"You know how much I wish it was enough."  
"Should I come back?"  
"I need some time, but I'll always be waiting."  
"Till my heart stops beating."  
"Maybe even then."'**_

Bella walked out of Jacob's room, as composed as possible, but inside her heart was broken into a million pieces. She knew without looking at them that the pack had heard every word of what went on in that tiny little bedroom. She didn't bother looking at any of them. Instead, she looked at Billy, who had tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed because she couldn't get the sound passed the lump in her throat. She bolted towards the door only to run headlong into Paul. He caught her by the arms so she didn't hurt herself, but shoved her away from him harder than he should have, causing her to fall backwards. .

"What the fuck is your problem, Swan? Why did you come here?" he growled, looking down to where she lay sprawled on the ground.

"Paul," Sam shouted from his position on the porch.

"Sam, I m okay. Don't worry. I'm not gonna phase and break the little leech lover's neck, although I would really like to. I just want some answers. So, why are you really here, Bella?" he sneered at her. She was trying to use Sam as a distraction as she scrambled up off the ground, inching her way back to her truck. "I mean, was it not enough that Jake talked us all into protecting your skinny, pale ass and got half of his body crushed into a million tiny pieces in the process? Did you have to come and take what was left of his heart and rip it from his chest then stomp on it before going home to your precious leech and marrying him, and being undead for all eternity? You are one sick, cold-hearted bitch, I'll give you that. Maybe you do belong with those leeches after all. Get in your truck and get the hell out of here!" he yelled before moving in so close to her ear that his lips were touching it. His whisper caused her to shiver in fear, "If I catch you here again, undead or human, I will not hesitate to snap that pretty, fragile neck of yours. Got it?"

Bella couldn't speak, so she just nodded her head. "Good," Paul said as he opened the truck door and lifted her inside. He closed the door behind him and walked off towards the Blacks' tiny home. Paul could hear the heart wrenching sobs coming from both the cab of Bella's truck, and Jacob's bedroom. He only hoped he was doing the right thing and that they would both survive the heartbreak.

Sam was standing there quietly, watching the scene before him, until he heard Bella's truck roar out of the Black's driveway. "Paul, what did you do?"

"Leave it alone, Sam. What's done is done and I can't change it. To be honest, I don't want to so just leave it be."

"And if she gets hurt or Jake gets hurt because of what you have done?" Sam asked with a raised brow.

"Then I will have to live with it," Paul said as he walked into the house, leaving Sam alone on the porch.

It took Bella 45 minutes to get home because she had to stop three times and let herself cry. Paul was right, she shouldn't have gone to see Jake, but she had to know he was going to be okay. She slammed the door of her truck and headed in the house. Charlie wasn't home because he was working the nightshift and she had told Edward not to come tonight, that she wanted to be alone. So, the house was as empty and sad as she felt. She headed up to her room. Opening the door, she heaved a sigh of relief that for once Edward had respected her request. She collapsed onto her bed and gave into the emotions that she had been holding in for the last 15 minutes.

The tears started anew. The sobs wracked her tiny frame as she grieved for the loss of her best friend and the death of her own personal sun. Paul was right, he didn't deserve to have his heart shattered as his bones had been shattered. He deserved to have everything. Because in those months after Edward left her broken and battered on that forest floor, Jake and the pack had rescued her; they took her in and healed the hole left in her heart by the Cullens. She owed them a debt she couldn't repay. The date was set and she couldn't back out or the Cullens would all die, or worse yet, the Voltorri would come and discover the pack and slaughter them as well. It was then that Bella made a decision, the only decision she could make in the circumstances and she hoped and prayed Alice didn't see what she decided to do. She got up off the bed and sat down at her desk and began to write.

Dad,

I have to leave again. I can't really explain it, but believe me when I say if there was any way to stay here in Forks with you, I would do it in a heartbeat. Dad, I am so sorry for all that has happened since I have been here. I wish I could go back and start over and choose differently, but I can't. Please know, Daddy, that I love you with all my heart and I always have. Please don't look for me. I can't come back and you can't know where I am. Be happy, Daddy.

I'll love you always,

Bella

P.S. Could you give the ring and charm to Edward when he comes?

Bella wrote a letter to both Edward and Jacob that she would mail as soon as she was out of town. She took out her checkbook and wallet and stuffed them in her backpack along with an extra pair of jeans, a few clean pair of underwear, a bra, and a couple of t-shirts, a few of her favorite paper backs, and one set of pjs. She got her small carry on out and stuffed her camera, a few more essential pieces of clothing, and the picture of her, Charlie, Billy, and Jacob, her dream catcher, as well as a picture of her and the Pack before zipping it up and grabbing her coat. She turned around and looked at her room one last time. Seeing her cell phone sitting on the dresser, she grabbed it and dialed Jacob's number before she lost her nerve. As she expected, she got his voicemail and she began to leave a message.

"Hey Jake, it's just me, Bells. I wanted you to know I am doing what you want for me, but it comes at a price. I have written you a letter explaining everything that you should receive in the next day or so. Please don't try to find me and don't let Charlie look either. Tell Billy I said I should have listened and tell the Pack that their sacrifice is not in vain. Be careful and I love you always."

She sat her phone on the dresser, picked up her bags, and headed out the door and down the steps before she could talk herself out of it. She went out the front door and got into her truck and headed for the airport. Hoping or willing that Alice not see her. She withdrew half her money at one of the ATMs at the airport and boarded the next flight out of town. She dropped Jacob and Edward's letters in the mail in L.A. before boarding her next flight.

Charlie arrived home at 6 AM the next morning, ready to take off his uniform and slip into bed. Sue called him last night to tell him of Jake's accident on the motorcycle and he promised to go see Billy as soon as he got a few hours of shut eye. He trudged up the stairs and peered into Bella's room, as the door was open. He noticed a few things were amiss right away. The cell phone was on the dresser, her bed was disheveled, and there were things on her desk. To the untrained eye, they would not even be noticed, but Charlie knew these three things weren't like his daughter at all. She never did any of these things. Charlie went over to her desk and saw the ring and the charm and knew his daughter was gone even before he sat down and read the note. Tears poured down his face as he read, smudging the ink a little. He put the ring and charm in his pocket and headed back downstairs to the cruiser and headed straight for La Push. He arrived in record time, bounding up the stairs and knocking on the door. Billy opened the door.

"Billy, I am sorry to be here so early and I know you have a lot going on right now but I need to talk to you. Bella is gone."

"Charlie what the hell are you talking about?"

"Bella, left. Here, read for yourself," Charlie said as he handed Billy the note before collapsing into the old armchair closest to his friend. Billy read over the note. He felt guilt and shame because, unlike Charlie, he knew the real reason Bella left, or at least more about it than Charlie did. He looked at his old friend and sighed.

"Charlie, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Billy. She is an adult and she doesn't want me to look for her, so legally I can't look."

"I am sorry, Charlie. I didn't realize she was this upset when she left here last night or I would have stopped her. Do the Cullens know yet?"

"I know you would have, Billy, and no, they don't."

"Why don't you take Seth with you when you tell them? He and Edward get along and maybe he can soften the blow a bit."

"Maybe, but why do I get the feeling you know some things that you are not telling me?" Charlie asked as he looked at his oldest friend.

"Charlie, why don't you lie down on the sofa and get some sleep. I need to check on Jacob and get breakfast started."

Billy turned with a sigh and headed for Jacob's room. He hoped Jacob was still asleep. He really didn't want Jacob to know Bella was gone and that Charlie wasn't looking for her. He peered into Jacob's room, only to hear him snoring softly. He came back into the kitchen and fixed his breakfast as quietly as he could, trying not to wake either Charlie or Jacob.

Charlie awoke several hours later on Billy's sofa to see half the population of La Push staring at him. Okay, maybe not half, but the little living room was filled to capacity.

"What the hell is going on here, Billy?"

"Jacob is awake and his brothers have come to see him." Billy managed to get out. He didn't tell him that they were here because Billy was afraid Jacob would phase when he found out about Bella. Sam had Paul stationed at the tree line to go get Carlisle if necessary. Paul owed Jacob that much after his stunt yesterday, Sam said. "I haven't told Jacob about Bella. I figured I would let you do it."

"Thanks a lot, old man." Charlie got up and headed for Jacob's room. Sam, Seth, Embry, and Quil already filled the room on either side. Charlie stepped into the room and saw Jacob lying prone on the bed, wrapped up like a mummy. Charlie knelt down beside the bed.

"Hey Charlie, what are you doing here? I would have thought you would be spending time with Bella, being she is going to be married soon."

"That is why I am here, Jake. Bella is gone, son."

"Gone? Gone how, Charlie?"

"She left, Jake. She left _us_, Jake."

"She left with the Cullens, you mean?"

"No, Jake. She left by herself. She asked me not to look for her, Jake, so legally I can't."

"But you are going to anyway, right?" Jake croaked, getting more agitated by the second.

"Jacob, I think it is best if we leave her be for now. She is in crisis right now and if we push her, she will go completely underground. I am going to give her time, Jake."

"But Charlie…"

"I know, Jake, okay? I know I always said if my kid went missing, I would look for her, no matter how long it took or how far I had to go, but I am afraid if I do, I will lose her forever. If I just leave her alone, there is a chance she will come back to us one day. I am sorry, Jacob, really sorry," Charlie said as he stumbled out of the room. Seth followed him out.

"Charlie, Billy says Bella asked you to return some things to Edward. Can I come with you? I would like to tell Edward goodbye. As Bella is our only common link, it will probably my last chance."

"Okay, come on, kid. See you later, Billy. I will be by tomorrow to check on you two."

"Be safe, Charlie."

Charlie and Seth headed towards the Cullen residence. Parking near the front door, they got out and made their way up the stairs. Charlie knocked on the door and Alice answered.

"Charlie," Alice exclaimed. "Where is Bella?"

"What do you mean, Alice," Charlie asked.

"I meant, is Bella with you?" Alice covered up quickly.

"No, she is not, Alice. Is Edward here?"

"Yes, of course, Charlie. Come in."

"Charlie, I will wait out here, until you are done with Edward," Seth supplied.

Alice closed the door behind Charlie and went to get Edward, but she appeared behind Seth within minutes.

"Where is she, Seth?" she asked.

"Don't you know, Alice?"

"No, Seth, I don't. She disappeared from my vision last night when she reached La Push, so I assumed she stayed the night, but she didn't, did she?"

"No, she came and saw Jacob, then left. We didn't know she was gone until Charlie showed up at Billy's."

"Damn, that means she is blocking my visions somehow."

"So you can't tell where she is or where she is going."

"No, and THAT is a problem."

"Why?"

"It is a long story, Seth, and Charlie and Edward are headed this way. Carlisle will be by later and explain." With that, she was gone back around the house. The door opened and Charlie and Edward walked out onto the porch.

"Again, Edward, I am sorry."

"Thanks for coming, Charlie."

After Charlie and Seth left the Cullens', Charlie took Seth home and basically camped out on Sue's sofa for the rest of the week. Seth found out about the Volturri from Carlisle and about how they expected Bella to be turned by her next birthday. Carlisle was concerned that even though Alice could not see her and she was immune to most vampire powers, her blood still carried a powerful scent and that alone put her in danger.

Jacob was healed and had phased for the first time the day his letter came. He had listened to her message every day since he had first heard it. He even let the pack hear it once, but when he saw the letter, he took it in his bedroom and shut the door. Sitting on his bed, he carefully took the letter out and sniffed the paper. It still smelled like her. He missed that smell, so much it hurt. He ran his hand over the words before lying on his stomach and reading.

My Dearest Jacob,

First, I have to say I am sorry, so sorry I can't say this to you in person, but if I do you and I both know if I do, you will never let me leave. I LOVE YOU, Jacob Ephriam Black, with everything that I am and that is why I have to leave. I can't marry Edward and if I stay here, the Volturri will come to Forks again and kill the Cullens and everyone attached to me. I have hurt the people in my life enough with my stupid choices and now, in order to live, I must pay the biggest price I will ever pay and leave you, Charlie, Billy, and the Pack behind. I will live a life, not the one I should be living but for you, my sun, I will live. Take care of Billy and Charlie for me and know I so wish I could be there with the three of you. My life will be forever cloudy without you in it, my sun. Smile every day for me. Find your imprint and love her the way you loved me. Every day I see the sun, I will remember your beautiful face and your comforting warmth. Please be happy, My Jacob, and never forget who you are, no matter what is to come. Be careful.

Forever Yours,

Bells

P.S. Tell Paul Thank you

Jacob placed the letter back in the envelope and placed it into his leather thong, vowing as he did so that he would not stop looking for her until he found her. He needed to see her smile again, but until then, he would keep her words close to his heart. He got up and went to find Paul.


	2. The Truth

**A/N: Hello my lovelies….here is chapter 2 of Finding Bella and the conversation between Jake and Paul everyone wanted to see, but as you will see that is not all I gave you. I hope you like it. Once again I have to thank TayJay Beta Extraordinaire for not giving up and fixing my god awful typos. Mist and Shadowlynx for prereading this chapter when I was unsure if I was doing this story the justice it deserves. Mist Thank you for the kick butt banner you made and last but not least Evieden thank you for the original banner that inspired this whole journey. Please please feel free to review, comment, or bitch because they all make me happy because it means I am just not writing this for myself. Loves and Jake Hugs and Enjoy!**  
Jake found Paul in the garage, doing the same thing he had been doing since Bella left. Whenever Jake was inside the house, he was working on carving in the garage. Jake wondered why Paul never said 'I told you so' when it came to Bella and today was the day he was going to find out the answer to that question.  
"Hey Paul, can you come here a minute?" Jake asked quietly.  
"Give me five minutes to finish this piece and then I can give you a few minutes before patrol," Paul answered with a sigh. Paul knew he wanted to talk about Bella. He knew a letter came from her today. He had smelled her scent in the mail when he'd picked it up. Paul knew she hadn't told Jake what had happened between them the night she left or he wouldn't have been that polite. Paul wasn't looking forward to this conversation. He finished up the medallion he was working on and put away his tools before turning around and facing Jacob. "What can I do for you?"  
"I want to know why Bella said to say thank you to you."  
"Well if she didn't tell you, maybe I shouldn't tell you either."  
"Come off it, Paul. You left in the middle of a pack meeting when I played Bella's message. You have hightailed it out here every time I walk in the house. You won't do patrol with me and you are blocking your thoughts from everyone and then the last thing Bella says to me in this letter is to tell you thank you. I know you know more than you are letting on about Bella leaving, so tell me what you know, and before you say 'nothing', I know you were the last one to see her that night. What happened between you two to make her leave everything and everyone behind and risk certain death if she is found by those Italian bloodsuckers?"  
Paul stood up and walked toward Jacob, rubbing the back of his neck and taking a deep breath. "Jake, you have to understand that I watched her play with your heart for the better part of a year and then she came here that night and just ripped your heart out and stomped on it. I kinda snapped. "  
"What do you mean you snapped? What did you do? I swear, Lahote, if you hurt her, I will rip you to shreds," Jake said in a rush as he pushed Paul back against the workbench.  
Paul braced himself against the workbench, looked in Jake's eyes, and took the plunge. "I kinda told her to leave and not come back."  
"WHAT THE HELL, PAUL?" Jacob yelled, getting right in Paul's face. "What gives you the right to tell her that? If I had had more time I coulda convinced her not to marry him or at to least tell me about those Italian bloodsuckers. Now she is out there all alone with super vamps after her and she loves me. She should be here, Paul." Jacob whipped around so that Paul could not see the tears gathering in his eyes. He missed Bella so much. He missed her smile, her laugh, the way she blushed at everything, but most of all he missed the smell of her and the way she leaned into him. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even hear Paul come up behind him until he whipped him around by the arm. He came face to face with a very angry Paul. His face was dark and he was shaking.  
"What gives me the right? What gives ME the right? In case you forgotten, Brother, let me remind you; I was in that field too. I saw that kiss in your mind. I felt your emotions, your worry for her. I watched as you had half your body crushed and the first word out of your mouth was 'BELLA'. And what did she do? I helped carry your broken body back to your father's house. I saw the fear in his eyes at the thought of losing his only son. I saw the hope in his eyes when she walked up the steps because he thought for just a minute she finally saw the Cullens for what they were. But, instead, she comes to you, when you are laying there in pain, and rips your heart out all over again and stomps it in a million pieces. In case that isn't enough for you, how about the fact that I have held your sister while she cried for you and worried whether you were going to die? Or the fact that I put Billy to bed more nights than I can count because you were chasing after her pale white ass? Someone needed to tell her what a selfish bitch she was being and everyone else was so afraid you would get mad that they didn't have the guts to do it. You are right, she should be here; she should be groveling at your feet, but she isn't because instead of telling you about what happened in Italy and telling you she loved you, she ran like she always has."  
"I wanna see," Jacob said matter of factly.  
"What?" Paul acted like he didn't understand because he knew when Jake saw what really went down that night; he would kick his ass again. He wouldn't really blame him, but how was he suppose to know that Bella was in that much trouble if she didn't say anything?  
"Phase, I want to see what happened between the two of you."  
"What good will that do, Jake? It won't change anything."  
"What are you hiding, Paul?"  
"Okay I will show you but remember I did what I did for you and I didn't know anything about those Italian bloodsuckers being after her."  
Both Jake and Paul ran for the trees phasing together they stood nose to nose as Paul finally unlocked his memories of that night. He bombarded Jake with the memories of seeing him lying on the ground writhing in pain screaming her name, the long walk back to Billy and Sam's fear he wasn't going to make it until Dr. Cullen could get there. Billy sitting beside Jake's bedside stroking his son's hand, tears running down his cheeks as he whispered how much he loved him and the promise to take better care of himself, if Jake will just hold on until Dr. Cullen could get there. He pushed the images toward Jake fast and furious until he replayed the scene between Jacob and Bella in his bedroom. He slowed down and let Jake relive the moment in real time. Paul knew it was cruel but he also knew when Jake saw the rest, if he didn't remember how much she hurt him and the pain they were all in that night Paul was sure Jake would kill him and he may still kill him, but Paul had to try. He continued to bombard him with images of Bella running out of Jake's room tears running down her face, mouthing sorry to Billy and running out the door. Paul showed her running headlong into his chest and him pushing her to the ground and Jacob growled at him. Paul continued as he showed him the memory tensing up as he got to the part where he yelled at her and pinned her up against the truck and whispered in her ear.  
Paul knew what was coming before it happened but he still was shocked at the force with which Jake hit him. Jake's wolf knocked Paul's on the ground. They were rolling around on the ground and Paul felt Jacob's teeth sink into his shoulder. Paul was screaming at Jake in his head.  
_"Jake man I am sorry. I didn't know. If I had known I wouldn't have said that I swear," _Paul managed to roll out of the way as Jake went for his throat and get back up on all fours.  
_"Bullshit Paul, you have never liked Bella and I don't for one second the fact that vampire royalty wants to bleed her dry and use her gift against others would change your mind."_  
_"You're right Jake it probably wouldn't by itself, but if I knew she loved you that sure would have changed things, and that she was doing all this to save all of us. I didn't like her because she had everything. She had Charlie and Renee who love her, not to mention you and Billy and it still wasn't enough for her. She didn't seem to care about anybody but herself and those damn Cullens. I would kill for parents ad a support system like she has had, and she was throwing it all away, for what to live forever, frozen in time like a fucking statue, never changing, who wants to do that if you can't have the people who love you with you. But Jake I swear had I known she really wanted to stay I would have never said that to her. I would have tried to get her to stay."_  
_"It's too late for regrets Paul, you did this, you gave her the final push and now she is out there on her own, unprotected, and a vampire magnet. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that," _Jake said as his wolf turned to leave and phase back to human Paul stopped him with a question that sent shivers down his spine._ "So you are telling me you would rather she be a dead leech, then out there at least attempting to live her life? You always said you didn't care if she was with you as long as she was alive, I guess that was just lip service huh?"_  
Jake whipped around to face him snout to snout he spoke. _"Damn, you to hell Paul Lahote, you know that is not what this is about. Yes, I am glad she has chosen to live her life as it was meant to be, but what about Charlie who has basically moved in with us because he can't bear to go home at night, knowing she is out there and hurting. He lies on the couch every night crying his eyes out, did you know that? Probably not because Charlie does it quietly, hell he doesn't even know I know. What about Dad, who already felt guilty for not telling Charlie the truth after what happened to Bells in Phoenix, he now feels that he should have made her stay that night and talk to him. Or Leah who can't even look me in the eye anymore, or poor Seth, who loves Bells as much as I do, did you even think about the consequences of what saying that to her would be Paul,"_ with that Jake phased out and ran for the house and Paul still in wolf form ran the other direction toward his patrol route.  
Jacob ran back to the little red house. He ran inside and to his bedroom slamming the door behind him. He put on a t-shirt, stuffed his legs into a pair of jeans, shoved his feet into his hiking boots, and grabbed his leather jacket, his saddle bags, and the keys to his motorcycle before wrenching open the door. He could feel is Dad and Rachel's eyes on him as he took out the lunch meat and made several sandwiches and grabbed a couple of cans of soda, stuffing them into his saddle bags and adding the old quilt from the back of the sofa; he closed the saddle bags and threw them over his shoulder.  
"Jake, where are you going," Rachel asked.  
"Somewhere where you and Paul are not," Jake said tersely.  
"Jacob," Billy said in warning.  
"No, Dad. Tell me one thing Rachel, did you tell him to do it or did he come up with the idea all by himself?"  
"I might have suggested he talk to her, tell her to stay away from you, from us," she replied.  
"That's what I thought, you know what Rachel I don't know what makes you think you or Paul had a right to run her off of the rez."  
"What gives Paul and me the right? Well let's see Paul is the way he is because of those precious Cullens she loves so much or the fact that he could have died fighting that newborn army she brought down on your head and you are my baby brother. I am supposed to protect you."  
Jake kicked the end table against the wall as he turned around to face Rachel. Billy could see his eyes had gone completely black, and Billy knew he wanted to explode, but he also knew he wouldn't hurt his sister at least not physically. He spoke in quiet soothing tones. "Jacob, you need to take a deep breath and think before you speak."  
"I am not gonna hurt her Dad," he said through his teeth.  
"I know that Son, I just want to think before you speak. I don't want you to say something you will regret later and neither would Bella. Now go on get out of here for a while just like you were planning. Don't worry about patrol in the morning I will talk to Sam. I am sure Paul can take your shift.  
"Dad," Rachel protested.  
"Shut up Rachel," Jacob growled as he walked over to his dad enveloping him in a signature hug. "I love you Dad. See if you can get Charlie to do more than drink tonight and tell him to sleep in my bed. I'll be back tomorrow. I just need some time to think about where to go and what to do from here. If you need me before then I have my phone and I won't be far." Jake walked toward the door glaring at Rachel the whole way.  
Billy followed him out and watched as his only son turned the key and jumped to start the bike and took off in a spray of gravel and dirt. Turning back around Billy pushed himself back in the house mentally preparing him to face his daughter. He knew she and Paul meant well, but Jake could take care of himself and Rachel's misguided need to protect her brother needed to be quelled before she did irreparable damage to their relationship, if she hadn't already. Taking a deep breath Billy pushed himself inside. Rachel was furiously cleaning the kitchen counters blowing furiously at the strand of hair that had escaped her braid and now hung in her face as she scrubbed.  
"Rachel can you come into the living room and sit down, please," Billy asked.  
"Dad, you know you can't let Jacob get away with being an ass just because one of the pack does something he doesn't like or run off every time something in life gets tough. It is not fair to Paul and the rest of the pack," Rachel said as she continued to scrub the counter.  
"Damn it Rachel, I said come sit down," Billy's voiced reverberated through the tiny house, so much so that if Rachel didn't know better, she would have thought her father was the alpha wolf instead of her little brother. She hurried into the living room and sat on the sofa across from her father waiting for him to speak again. "Now, I want you to be quiet until I finish and remember I say what I am about to say because I love you and I understand that you did what you did because you love your brother and his almost dying scared the hell out of you, but where the hell do you think you have the right to make decisions for your brother?"  
"Well, someone has to," Rachel said indignantly. She couldn't believe her dad was jumping all over her after Jake's behavior this morning. "Because you apparently let him do whatever he wants no matter how it impacts someone else."  
"Rachel I said be quiet and now I am telling you to shut up and listen before you lose any chance at a relationship with your brother past the fact that your husband will be a member of his pack," Billy roared. "How dare you judge your brother when you yourself have done nothing but run since your mother died. I hate to remind you but you and your sister are the ones who left a sick father and a 13 year old brother to fend for themselves with plans to never look back and even before then Jacob took on so much. Damn it Rachel, do you even know what it has been like for him to have the only girl you have ever loved and will love be with someone else, and not just anyone else but someone who is just not your mortal enemy but the one person who will take her away from you forever. I mean think about it. He may look 25 but he really is just 16 and he finally got Bella back here and then she falls for Cullen that would be bad enough but then you find out he is a blood sucking leech and you are a giant wolf and those stories you thought were just scary stories told around a bon fire are true and you have been called by the great spirit to protect not just your family but your whole entire tribe, but you can't tell the girl who means everything to you because she is not meant for you and the secret has to stay within the tribe oh and to top it all off you are suppose to be the leader at 16 years old. Jacob gets away with nothing Rachel he has spent the last year protecting Bella, Charlie, and his tribe all the while trying to get her to realize she wants to live one lifetime with those who love her with all that they are instead of living forever with a bunch of statues who never change. What happens when she finally starts to see reason you and Paul run her off and now my BEST friend's daughter is out there unprotected and a vampire magnet. What if something happens to her because you and Paul decided to make her run and don't tell me that wasn't your plan Rachel because you knew she was scared of Paul. What exactly did he say to her anyway top get her to leave the man she loved and the protection Jacob would have gladly given her when she finally chose to live?"  
"Dad…"  
"What did he say Rachel," Billy demanded again.  
"He might have said if she came back to the rez he would break her neck."  
"Rachel Black I am completely and utterly ashamed of you," Billy bellowed. I can't believe you talked Paul into threatening her like that. Rachel, you are lucky Jacob didn't kill Paul the last time he scared Bella Paul ended up hurt not Jake. I don't know that he can ever forgive you Rachel, I really don't. Hell, I don't know how I am gonna be able to face Charlie ever again," with that Billy turned and pushed himself to his room and shut the door with a click and Rachel sat on the Blacks' threadbare sofa feeling the weight of the consequences of all her actions.  
Jake sat on the old quilt on the mountaintop where he kissed Bella. He had his eyes closed and his head tilted back and the rain had begun to fall softly on his face when Seth showed up and sat down next to him.  
"What do you want Seth," he asked never opening his eyes.  
"What are you doing Jake and how did you know it was me," Seth asked.  
"Remembering and trying to fight the urge to kill Paul and my sister and knowing how mad I am you are the only one with enough guts to disturb me here, well not so much guts as a lack of self-preservation," Jake said laughing low in his throat.  
"So this is where it happened huh? The big kiss," Seth said ignoring completely Jake's attempt at humor.  
"Yeah, what do you want Seth, I am not really in the mood for company at the moment," Jake said.  
"I get that. When I left Leah and Sam were chasing Paul up by the creek and he was losing ground. They are both pissed he did that to Bella. Sam said for you not to worry about patrol for a while unless you wanna do some, but he really sent me up here to tell you that Dr. Cullen called and said Edward would like to meet with you at the treaty line tomorrow afternoon."  
"Tell him I will be there at two and he has 10 minutes no more."  
"Okay, I will tell him. Hey Jake," Seth asked as an afterthought.  
"Yeah, kid?"  
"What was it like?"  
"What was what like," Jake asked finally opening his eyes and looking at Seth.  
"The kiss was it everything you thought it would be?"  
"Seth it was like flying without wings. It was like for those brief minutes I was a part of her, and she was a part of me, we were one," Jake said with a sigh.  
"Do you think she will ever come home?"  
"I hope so Seth. I really hope so and soon."  
After Seth left Jake went to find a cave to start a fire and eat before trying to sleep. When he drifted off he dreamed of nothing but Bella as always. He awoke before dawn and put out the fire in the cave and packed up and headed home to see Charlie before he went into work. He wanted to see how he was doing and if there was anyone missing Bella as much as he was it was Charlie. He had all but quit eating food since she left and the only liquid he had in his system was coffee and beer, quite frankly he didn't know how much longer Charlie would keep his job if something didn't change soon. He let himself in the little red house and found his dad sitting at the kitchen table with a coffee mug in his hand and Charlie passed out on the sofa.  
"I am guessing a liquid dinner was on Charlie's menu last night huh," Jake asked his dad as he sat down across from him with his own coffee mug.  
"Yeah, I already called the office and told them not to expect him today."  
"Dad, what are we going to do, he can't keep this up and keep his job or his health and that is the last thing Bella would want."  
"I don't know, Son, I just don't know. I mean I know I lost your mother and I was bad there but she was dead, Bella is not and she is in danger and I just can't lie to him anymore and tell him she will be okay, when in reality she won't be if she doesn't let someone know where she is soon," Billy said as his voice cracked, Jacob rounded the table and gave his dad a gentle hug. Billy clung to his son as if his life depended on it because it did and he knew without Jacob he would have died after the girls left and even now when his life was in a million pieces he was forcing the pieces to stay somewhat connected to be there for him and Charlie. "I love you Jacob," he said his voice filled with emotion.  
Jacob let his father go and backed away because he could start to feel the cracks opening and if he didn't pull away the dam would break and that wouldn't do anyone any good right now. Dad, I am going to go for a run and then I will be back and fix you and Charlie some breakfast okay. I have to meet Edward at the treaty line today at two and I don't need all this pent up energy or I may do something I shouldn't.  
"Okay, Son," Billy said as Jake went into his room to change into his cut off and took off running out the house. Billy watched through the doorway as his son ran toward the tree line and phased. Billy turned with a sigh back to see his best friend sprawled out on the sofa and he wheeled himself back to the table to sip his morning coffee and wait.  
Edward was sitting on the sofa in his room when Alice knocked on the door frame before coming to sit next to her dear brother.  
"Anything new Alice," he asked anxiously.  
"No Edward I am sorry, not since I saw her in LAX. She is keeping well out of her future."  
"I just don't understand. If she wanted to be with Jacob, why didn't she just tell me? I would have understood and I would have done anything to protect her."  
"Perhaps that is why Edward. She knew both you and Jacob, us and the pack would die to protect her and she doesn't feel like she has the right t ask that of us again for what she sees as her mistake."  
"But it wasn't her mistake Alice, it was ours."  
I know Edward, I know," Alice said with a sigh lacing her fingers with his and placing her head on his shoulder.  
Edward stared out the window long after Alice left watching the light change from dawn to midmorning to afternoon. Five minutes to two he picked up the letter on his desk and headed for the treaty line. He found Jacob waiting there in a pair of cutoffs. His arms crossed against his bare chest.  
"Thanks for coming Jacob, I appreciate it," Edward said with his arrogant air that would have been considered polite in the last century.  
"You have ten minutes so get to it already," Jacob said through his teeth trying to control the shaking.


	3. Lost

**Lost**

"Jacob I know this hasn't been any easier on you than it has on me okay. I just came to let you know I am leaving soon."

"And I care about this fact why?"

"I just want you to know that if Bella returns, I won't be here to stand in your way. I see now you were right all along. I should have stayed away the first time."

"Nice to know I was right all along for all the good it does me, so what did she say to you," Jake asked.

"Here read it for yourself."

Jake snatched the paper from Edward and underneath the smell of death and decay was the scent that was his saving grace. The scent of his Bells. He closed his eyes for a minute and imagines it was her standing across from him and not Edward. Just for a second he could see her there waiting to be wrapped in his arms. Instead seeing Bella when he opened his eyes again he was met with Edward's cold dead stare, sighing he looked down at the piece of paper he held in his hands. He saw Bella's neat handwriting and his heart lifted and sank at the words as they jumped off the page.

Dearest Edward,

Seeing Jacob last night as made me realize some things Edward. I love him. I know you don't understand this and I am not sure I do either but you should be happy to know I have decided to remain human, but I can't stay with you. I love Jacob. I am sorry. I feel like I should be there telling you this in person but we both know if I was there you would dazzle me or Jacob would want me to stay and you and I both know if I do that then the Volturi will come to Forks and destroy everyone I love. Please tell your family I love them more than I can express in these few lines. Tell Alice I am sorry if I could be, her sister I would but I can't. I know now thanks to the pack that I need to live for myself, for Charlie, for the pack, and most of all for Jacob. He deserves to know I am living even if he is not a part of that life. Please tell Rose that she was right I did not know what I was giving up. Tell her I am sorry. You will always have a piece of my heart. Please don't look for me.

Always,

Bella

Edward watched as the tears coursed down Jake's cheeks and his lips upturned in a sad smile. Even in his sadness, Jacob Black was happy and Edward finally understood. Jacob loved Bella in a way he couldn't. Yes, both of them would prefer she live a human existence but Edward wanted it by his side while Jake would give her up if he had to in order for her to be human and happy.

"You really do love her don't you," Edward commented.

"Yes, I told you I did that night in the tent and she loves me and we are not together because of your choices. You made the choice to go to the Volturi and I get it. I understand what it is like to love Bella remember but Bella wouldn't have wanted you dead even if she was dead herself. That is the only reason you are still standing here. If I didn't know how it would break her heart I would give up too, but unlike you I don't have the luxury of giving up. I have to take care of Charlie, Dad, and the pack like she asked. Although Charlie is dying of a broken heart and I can't fix that only she can and she doesn't want me looking for her."

"I could try to find her."

"No, Edward, Charlie is right if we try to find her she will just go deeper underground. She is hurting right now and I don't want to push it and push her away."

"I am just trying to help."

"I know you are. I think the best thing you and your family can do is leave so that kids stop turning into giant dogs and you aren't a reminder to Charlie that his daughter has left him three times and twice because of you." Jake handed Edward back the letter and straightened to his full height.

"We will be gone by the end of the week, but Carlisle told me to tell you if and when you decide to find her you have all of our resources at your disposal monetary or otherwise."

"Tell Dr. Fang thanks and that I will be in touch about that soon, but right now I have to get Charlie back on his feet so that he and Dad can survive without me."

"I understand; we will be waiting." With that, Edward was gone and Jacob took off for the Rez.

Bella let herself into her tiny efficiency apartment just outside of Phoenix. She had just finished a double shift at the diner and she was dead on her feet. She worked as much as she could and slept very little. She mainly worked the nightshift at the diner and slept during the day or at least she tried. Without Jake and Charlie, the nightmares returned in full force. Even the dream catcher that Jake had given her on her eighteenth birthday could not keep her worst nightmares from visiting her every time she closed her eyes.

Bella opened the fridge and took out the salad greens and the chicken strips out. She made chicken Caesar salad for one and sat down at the table. She ate in the suffocating silence that was her home life these days. She washed her plate, fork, and glass and put them in the tiny dish drainer. She stripped out of her uniform and went into the bathroom to shower grabbing her short pj's as she went. Half an hour later, she was refreshed and she had a few hours before she had to return to the diner for her usual late night shift. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes and almost immediately, she was catapulted into the world of her dreams.

But unlike so many nights before this was a good dream. Jake was there and Billy and Charlie and they were smiling at her and laughing. It was the life she should have had. Jake was reaching out for her. She could feel the warmth of his touch, the way his heat always enveloped her, the way he smelled, it was almost as if she was really there with them. When his lips touched hers, she felt the same spark she had up on the mountaintop and she was lost to the blinding heat it created. Everything disappeared but Jake in that moment and seconds later even Jake disappeared. Everything went black and she was now in her worst nightmare. Surrounded by coffins and ash with the Volturi smiling moving ever closer to her. As they came in for the kill, her alarm went off dragging her out of the nightmare with a scream as it usually did.

Bella through back the covers and headed the shower again for her second shower in as many hours. She turned the water as hot as she could stand it and stepped inside. She let the hot water wash away the cold sweat and chase away the chill she felt in her bones. She came out, put on a clean uniform, and was out the door.

The diner was always busy as it was located on the interstate between the Navajo Reservation and Phoenix. Friday seemed to be the busiest day for the overnight shift. Truckers and tourists and on Friday they would receive the influx of the Native American families from the Rez especially on the first Friday of the month. It was quickly becoming Bella's favorite night to work. It reminded her of home, of Jacob, of the pack, of the pride by which the wonderful Quileute's always carried themselves. Never ashamed of who or what they were. It was on nights like this she let herself imagine what it would have been like if she had made the right choice that day at the cliffs, the right choice that night in her beloved red truck, the right choice in the kitchen, the right choice when Alice wanted to drag her to Italy, the right choice that morning on the mountaintop in the field, the right choice as she sat by Jacob's beside as he lay there broken in pain because of her. So many chances she was given to make the right choice and so many times she made the wrong one. As she stood outside looking up at the stars she couldn't help but miss him and miss home and wonder what had changed in the month she had been gone. Were they looking for her? Was Charlie okay? Did Jacob make a full recovery? Had he found his imprint and forgotten about her altogether? Did the Cullens leave? Did the Volturi know she had changed her mind? She was lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even hear the crunch of the gravel or the kid calling her name until he slammed into her legs almost knocking her off her feet.

"Thanks Bella," he said breathlessly.

"WHOA, Daniel where is the fire buddy." She said as she managed to untangled herself from his arms that were wrapped tightly around her legs.

"I passed my test today."

"That's great little buddy," she said as she hugged him tight. "What are you doing out here all by yourself? Where is your Daddy and Lissa?"

"Daddy took her inside to find us a seat in your section. He said I could come over here and tell you about my test."

"Well, my break is over so let's see if we can find your Dad and Lissa and I can take your order. I think I owe you a dessert big boy."

"Really Bella, you mean it?"

"Sure, little buddy, I promised didn't I?"

"Great," he said as he grabbed her hand and practically dragged her across the parking lot towards the diner entrance.

Bella had met Daniel, his Dad Thomas, and his two-year-old sister Melissa or Lissa the first night she began working at the diner. Daniel was five and a handful. His mom had passed away six months ago giving birth to his little brother Sammy. Sammy had been in and out of the hospital since and Thomas had it rough. He really didn't know how to cook so the diner was their regular dinner spot. Everyone who worked there knew them and tried to help them out as much as they could. Thomas Running Wolf was good with his hands, so he did mechanic work, construction and the occasional truck-driving job. When Bella saw Daniel sitting there with his inky black shoulder length hair she immediately thought of Jacob and Billy and how hard it must have been for them. Daniel had quickly stolen a piece of her heart; she had been taking her breaks to help him with his schoolwork and would take Lissa to the bathroom if she needed to go. She would keep them on her days off so Thomas could visit Sammy at the hospital in Phoenix. She was going to keep them tomorrow and Sunday so he could take Sammy to the children's hospital in L.A. for some more tests.

"I see he found you. He has been so excited about this weekend all week and then he got that A and I couldn't stop him from going to find you as soon as Susan said you were on your break. We would have been here on time had Miss Lissa not had an accident right before we left. I had to hear Danny complain all the way here. You sure you want to do this. I can get my mom to come down from Colorado and take care of them."

"Don't be silly Thomas, we will be fine. I have to run by the apartment and pack and I will be there at six."

"Bella, you are a lifesaver. I cannot thank you enough. Hopefully these tests will do the trick and Sammy can stay home for a while. I may have to leave him there and that is a scary thought."

"It's okay Thomas, everything will be okay no matter what. So what can I get you guys. The Friday usual with a side of a brownie sundae for big guy and chocolate ice cream for the princess."

"I think so, thanks Bella."

"You are welcome Thomas. I will be right back with your water and their milk."

Bella went about the job that paid her bills. Making sure, all of her customers were as happy as the RunningWolves. By the time they left Lissa was half-asleep and Daniel was rubbing his eyes.

"Thanks again Bella. I will see you at six. They usually sleep in until 10 on Saturday but knowing this one," he said pointing at Daniel. "He will be up at five because you're coming."

"That's okay we will just have to make pancakes then."

"Yay," Daniel said as he stifled a yawn and gave Bella one last hug.

"See you guys in the morning."

She used her last fifteen-minute break at the end of her shift to go to her apartment and pack up her stuff and stop by the store to pick up the stuff to make breakfast lunch and dinner for the three of them this weekend. She arrived at the RunningWolf home by 5:30 and knocked quietly on the door. Thomas opened the door with a very sleepy Lissa in his arms.

"You're early Bella."

""Bell," Lissa said as she tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes and reached for Bella who had her hands full of bags.

"Trade," Thomas asked.

"Sure," she said as she handed him the groceries and took Lissa. The little girl pressed her dark head into Bella's shoulder and Bella kissed her head and breathed her in. Every time she spent time with Daniel and Lissa she thought about the vision she had on the mountaintop and just what she lost that day. She placed Melissa in her toddler bed, kissed her on the cheek, and headed back towards the kitchen. Thomas was putting away the groceries. He held up the three bags of chocolate chips.

"Really Bella, you spoil them."

"What, half a bag for today's pancakes half a bag for tomorrows, 1 bag for cookies, and 1 for the icing on the brownies."

"Once again cookies and brownies are spoiling," Thomas said with a laugh as he continued to unpack the groceries. "I have changed the sheets and cleaned the bathroom in my room. You can stay in there."

"It's babysitter's prerogative besides I will sure they will have plenty of healthy stuff to counteract the bad stuff. I could sleep on the couch you know."

"I know but you will probably end up with them in bed with you like I usually do so you might as well sleep somewhere comfortable. Go ahead and take your stuff in there and get settled. I will finish this."

Bella took her stuff in his bedroom. The one place she had avoided every time she kept the kids. For so many reasons but mainly because she didn't feel right invading his privacy. She set her stuff down gently on the bed, took out her toiletries, and put them in the bathroom. She put her pictures of her and Jake on the nightstand and the dream catcher on the headboard. She picked up the pictures and looked at the again wistfully.

"I know that look," Thomas interrupted. "May I," he asked as he held out his hand. She handed him the photos. "Cute, and here I was thinking we were your first natives," he said handing her the photos back.

"Nope not my first natives, sorry."

"Want a cup of coffee. I got about 15 minutes before I have to leave. Car is all packed and I would like to have an adult conversation that doesn't involve doctors and medical terms."

"Sure."

Thomas poured two cups of coffee as Bella sat down at the kitchen table. He sat her coffee in front of her and notice the bracelet she was wearing.

"Is that bracelet from here or from home?"

"Home."

"I thought so I don't recognize the wood. So is it a gift from the guy you're in love with?"

"Graduation present from my best friend."

"So you are not in love with him?"

"I didn't say that Thomas."

"So you are?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Bella it does matter. When I said I know that look, I know it because that is the way I look at the pictures of my wife. It is the way the kids look at pictures of her."

"This is different."

"You're right. It is because he is still alive. Bella I know you are running and I know just how special he is to you. I could see it when you were looking at those pictures. You love him the way I love my wife and you should stop running."

Bella stood up with shaking hands and legs. "Thomas there are things about Jacob and I that you can never understand and just know I can never go back to Jacob no matter how much I want to or he will die. Now if you don't mind I am going to take a shower before the kids wake up. Have a safe trip and I will see you Monday morning."

Thomas watched her leave the room, shaking his head he picked up the coffee cups and washed them dried them and put them away. His favorite waitress was hiding something and he couldn't wait to find out what the spirits had in store for her. But for now she was lost to herself, her Jacob, and her destiny. What she didn't know Thomas was the ha'atathli for this part of the village as was his father and grandfather before him and he could sense the importance in her. He wrote a quick note of apology and headed out the door to start the long drive to L. A.

Bella came out fifteen minutes later refreshed from her shower and a lot less shaky. She notice Thomas had cleaned up before he left and she looked at the note and money he left on the counter.

Bella,

I am sorry I upset you this morning that was not my intention and you are right I do not understand but I would like to. I would like to give you an ear to bend, so if you want to talk about it when I get back I will gladly listen but only when you are ready. Thanks for taking care of the kids this weekend. I owe you more than I could ever repay.

Thomas

P.S. Here is the money for the groceries you bought this morning.

Bell shoved the money into the drawer, folded the note, stuck it in her pocket, and turned to get the milk and eggs out the fridge. She mixed up the pancake batter and placed plastic wrap over it before putting it and the ingredients in the fridge. She went and checked on the kids and they were still fast asleep so Bella decided to try to take a nap herself. She went in the bedroom, pulled back the covers, and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Bella woke up to identical pairs of brown eyes staring at her. "Good Morning," she said with a smile. "Who is ready for breakfast?" She asked as she picked up Lissa and took Daniel by the hand. She got them settled at the table with milk and some diced up fruit while she made the pancakes. Seven pancakes and two baths later she took the kids to the park. She watched them with great interest as they played. When Lissa started rubbing her eyes. Bella took them home, made sandwiches, and put Lissa down for a nap after lunch. Daniel sat at the table coloring while Bella cleaned the kitchen and did her prep for dinner. Her Chicken Casserole was easy enough to make but it took a lot of prep.

"Daniel when your sister gets up we will make cookies."

"What kind of cookies." he asked.

"Chocolate Chip"

"My momma use to make them for us all the time."

"Did she let you help," Bella asked as she put the completed casserole in the fridge and sat down next to him.

"Sometimes, Bella where is your mom?"

"My mom is in Florida but my best friend's mom is in heaven like yours."

"Really? What's your friend's name. What is she like?"

"His name is Jake and he is a lot like you."

"Really," she said as the phone interrupted her train of thought. "Hold that thought Little Man that is your Dad." Bella picked up her cell phone and answered. "Hey Thomas. How is everything there?"

"They are going to keep Sammy. Mom is going to come stay with him while I head back to take care of the other two, but the good news is after this surgery he will be off a vent for good."

"That is great news Thomas. I am happy for you. Do you want to stay there? I can call Susan and try to change my shift so they coincide with Daniel's school day."

"No Bella I couldn't ask you to do that. If you could take, off next weekend and do, this again it would be great but we will talk more about that on Monday. Can I talk to Daniel and Lissa?"

"Lissa is taking a nap but Daniel is right here," she said as she handed Daniel.

She let Daniel talk to his Dad, went to get the stuff ready to make cookies, and went to get Lissa up from her nap. Daniel handed the phone to his sister, hugged Bella tightly around the waist, and went to clean up his coloring supplies and put his picture on the fridge. Bella hold the phone for Lissa as she talked nonsense to her Dad until she was tired of talking. She sat Lissa on the counter as she finished talking to Thomas.

Two hours and six dozen cookies later. She had the kids in the tub again and she was covered from head to toe in cookie dough and so were they. She put them in their pj's and sat them down in front of the TV with the movie she had picked up yesterday morning. She then stripped and took a shower herself. Once she had washed all the cookie dough off she stepped out and put her pj's on too. She looked in the living room and the kids were still content with the movie so she took the opportunity to put the casserole in the oven and clean up the kitchen. Cookie dough was on every surface. She scrubbed every surface until they shined and put the casserole in the oven and went to check on the kids again.

Daniel and Lissa were completely oblivious to her presence. She watched as Lissa snuggled in close to her big brother as they watched the movie. Bella couldn't help but flash back to her children in her vision again and she sighed. Daniel heard her and looked up.

"Bella, come finish watching this movie with us, please?"

"Sure," she said as she settled down of the sofa next to them. Daniel snuggled into her side while Lissa climbed into her lap. By the time the movie was over the casserole was ready and Bella's heart was hurting. She knew she should give up the dream of ever having what she saw that day but she couldn't. Sure she had fooled herself for a while that it wasn't what she wanted but being here with Daniel and Lissa she knew that was exactly what she wanted, what she craved. She wanted kids and not just any kids but Jacob's kids. The raven-haired ones that looked just like him. She wanted him holding her as they watched them run along the beach. She wanted all the things she could never have and would never have.

"Bella are you listening," Daniel asked as he noticed her silence as he went on and on about what he wanted to do tomorrow.

"Sorry Daniel, I got lost in my own world for a second. What did you say?"

"I asked if I could have seconds and still have my two cookies."

"Of Course you can buddy," she said as she fixed him some more.

After dinner was done and cookies were eaten, she had them brush their teeth good and climb in bed. She read them two stories and by that time, they were fast asleep. Bella returned to the kitchen and cleaned up putting the leftover casserole in the fridge and the cookies in an airtight container. She washed up the dinner dishes and headed to bed herself. She searched through her bag for her phone charger and plugged it up. She held her phone in her hand and looked at it. It would be so easy to just dial his cellphone and leave a message and hang up or call Charlie just to hear his voice but she knew she had to let them get on with their lives. The sooner they forgot about her the better but she would never forget them or the way they loved her. Both of them had loved her with all they had and she threw it back in their faces repeatedly. Bella punched the pillow as hot tears flowed from her eyes. She was lost and there was no anchor for her to grab onto anymore. No hand to hold, no warmth, No Sun to light her way.

For the first time since she left Forks under the cover of darkness Bella Swan gave into her despair, She had tried so hard to live the happy life Jake had wanted for her but without Jake in it her life just wasn't right and so she knew now she would be forever lost.

Jake was lying in his cramped bed holding his cellphone like it was a lifesaving, wishing Bella would just call again before he went insane. Charlie was worse than ever since they put him on compassionate leave at the police department but the truth was if it hadn't been for his Dad and Sam and the Rez Police Chief the Forks Town Council would have fired Charlie. It was all Jake could do not to call the Cullen's and beg them to help him find her but he knew she didn't want it, so he held fast but if she didn't at least call soon he would have no choice. Charlie was lost without her. He was lost without her. He spent the day patrolling for any signs of the Volturi and spent his nights trying to snap Charlie out of it until he passed out and then Jake would curl up in his bed and cry where no one could see.

Thomas closed his cellphone and headed back into the hospital. His suspicions were confirmed Bella's best friend Jacob was Quileute. He had known it as soon as he saw the charm and the pictures of them on the beach. He just wasn't sure what to do with this information yet but one thing was sure his favorite waitress was hiding from something or someone and it wasn't Jacob, so until he had more information he would just sit tight. As he sat in the chair, waiting for his son to return from the surgery that would enable them to remove his vent that was currently breathing for him Thomas could feel the love of his beloved Grace surround him. She was the reason he wasn't lost in his grief and pain. She was his anchor even though she was no longer with them. He was determined to give that kind of peace to Bella because in the last month she had shown him compassion that he didn't know existed in the world anymore. She deserved a happily ever after like he had before Grace had left him but he wouldn't trade the years he spent with her with the pain he felt now because they had created magic in their three children and Bella deserved some of that magic herself.


End file.
